Ambien. No doubt about it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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