i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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