Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
