i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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