just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I deserve this hangover.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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