What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
