Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize