And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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