We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
