i just wanna soil my oats bro
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
