I'm drive I can fine osifer
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My life is pants optional.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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