Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
