you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
