Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize