He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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