i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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