is your mom at the bar?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
