I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
