Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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