if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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