So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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