She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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