did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
