I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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