dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
