My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
