Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
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All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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