So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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