theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
