I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
