So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
