at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
