I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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