I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
