Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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