I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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