i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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