She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
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Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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