yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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