My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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