Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
