he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
