In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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