So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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