It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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