how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
