All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
