i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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