She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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