He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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