i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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