he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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