Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
