Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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