it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
