She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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