someone get that fucking seahorse.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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