I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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