were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
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I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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