we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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